You have two gardens: your own garden and that of your beloved. First, you have to take care of your own garden and master the art of gardening.
In each one of us there are flowers and garbage.
The garbage is the anger, fear, discrimination, and jealousy within us. If you water the garbage, you will strengthen the negative seeds.
If you water the flowers of compassion, understanding, and love, you will strengthen the positive seeds.
What you grow is up to you.
If you don’t know how to practice selective watering in your own garden, then you won’t have enough wisdom to help water the flowers in the garden of your beloved. In cultivating your own garden well, you also help to cultivate their garden.
Thich Nhat Hanh